Jack:I’ve had enough. 50 years of criticism and feelings of inadequacy. 50 years of ruined Christmases.
Liz:What are you saying?
Jack:I can’t be alone with her. You see Lemon, my mother is like a virus and my body is trying to get rid of her. Good god, she can’t know I’m having these thoughts! She can’t know about the 8 minutes! If she knew, she’d have me arrested. She’s done it before!
Liz:I’m not going to just do anything. I have a plan. Step one: befriend the enemy and gather information. Then use the information to drive her into the bottom ten percent.
Pete:Good Lord. Your eyes. You look like that lady astronaut who tried to kidnap that other woman.
Liz:Hey, that was a lady with a plan. Diapers, mace, Houston to Orlando in nine hours. Blamo.
Pete:I know I’m the guy who lied to his wife about having a vasectomy, but this? This is wrong.
Liz:No, it’s not wrong. I’m just staying the course, and I am enjoying it! Jack is out of my hair, people are being nice to me, there’s a guy I like IN THE BUILDING and I have the authority to fire his girlfriend! For the first time ever, things are lining up for ol’ Liz Lemon.
Really? You wanna exchange creative gifts? Oh, well you are the one that’s in trouble now, buddy. Because creativity to me is just like… pff, it’s like a bird. Like a friendly bird that embraces all… ideas. Just like shoots out of its eyes all kinds of beauty.